Recently, I experienced the bereavement of a close family member. It was heart-breaking because this was a man who was a kind-hearted family man. His belief was probably that I will work hard and my family will benefit. He was always the life of the party. He enjoyed seeing others happy, so when he died, it was a huge loss to the family.
How do you get past that? My last two blog posts were about the grief cycle and some advantages to grieving and it is important to listen to your body and allow and honour your feelings at that time.
But, what happens when you still have to run your business? For me, I started to re-assess and re-evaluate what I was doing was really what I wanted. Its strange how a death makes us think about our life, isn’t it?
The negative thoughts I kept having was “you can’t do this,” “who are you to take a leading position?” and “you’re not good enough.”
Perhaps, you too have had these thoughts sometimes?
Henry Ford said, “Whatever you think you can or you think you can’t, you are right.” Beliefs are not real – a belief is a perceived truth based on the reality of the person and we get these beliefs from our childhood.
What forms and anchors the belief is that we look for evidence. So If a child wants to ride on a donkey (not sure where that idea came from but will go with it here – hahaha), and his mother says “You can’t do that” – the child might cry and insist, but finds he really can’t because he is too young and he keeps slipping off. The child has the evidence that he can’t, so believes he “can’t do that”. But the belief is not concrete until he has social proof. He finds that all his friends (who are also the same age, size and height) can’t sit on the donkey either because they too are too young – and they have the same problem – so now that child feels sad. He has the emotional pull and really believes that “no-one can” because none of his friends could either (can you see how the belief is getting anchored?).
So when this child grows up, his belief that “he can’t” will not only stop him riding a donkey, but will affect other areas of his life too because of the way the brain is wired. Even if someone said that he CAN, he will reject the idea because the belief is now formed.
So, when I hear my own voices, what I tend to do now is to challenge those thoughts and I use affirmations instead. Actually, I can take a leading position with my business of helping people overcome their beliefs because I know how to help them to transform their beliefs. Today, I am more able to do this as I have the strategies.
Click here to find out about a 2 day event I will be running on 23rd/24th April to help you change your self-limiting thoughts so you can live a more fulfilled life.
The 2 day course will cover:
- What is mindset?
- Identifying negative thinking patterns
- How to change those patterns to the positive
- Inner child work
- Family Dynamics
- Anger Releasing and Forgiveness etc
Call me on 07792 611406 to book.