In the same way that you would get a mechanic to fix your car’s engine, you can get an expert to coach you with your parenting towards a happy family. It is a skill that can be learned and we often call on a trusted expert to help us along the way.
I sometimes come across parents who brush their children’s problems under the carpet, hoping things will get better. Or, is it because mental health is a taboo subject in their culture and they don’t want to be seen as having problems? But did you know that there is a direct link between how you parent and the possibility of your child developing mental health issues later in life?
Between the ages of five and eleven, the way it manifests is, that children may begin to find life stressful, or have anxiety over school-work, friendship issues, bullying, sibling rivalry, or anything else a child of that age experiences. These experiences then tend to get triggered in either their teenage years, or later in life, if not dealt with.
Is your child feeling misunderstood, perhaps leading to tantrums, sadness, or feelings of rejection or loneliness? Maybe your child tends to bottle up their feelings, leaving frustrations and anger unresolved. Parents have enough guilt as it is. When children misbehave, parents often blame them. They are unsure of how to deal with the problems, and that is exactly what I coach parents to do.
In a coaching program I have run with parents in the past, here is an example of a case of how my coaching helped a parent to help her child.
Background of parent:
- Professional Mum in her early 40s.
- Lives with husband who works in a professional environment.
- Has 3 children (this daughter is the youngest of the 3)
- Worried about the youngest child being nervous, clingy and not confident, unlike the older 2. This was affecting their ability to go out as a family.
- Mum remembers being like this when she was a child.
Background of child:
- She goes to primary school but is shy when it comes to making new friends.
- She is very sensitive, not confident and is reluctant to socialise.
- She is intelligent, but wary to show her abilities.
- She worries a lot.
Outcomes for the child:
- Mum said that daughter is “less stressed” and is now “relaxed”.
- She was impressed at how daughter had been “more open” about things such as telling her when she felt it was not she who was stressed, but her mother.
- Mum had a good awareness of how her daughter had changed and was grateful that daughter was now “picking her up” on things.
- Daughter was more confident in talking to Mum. Their relationship became more trusting again.
- Daughter was more open in talking about incidents at school, such as when she was bullied.
- Daughter was able to express to her Mum that she would like to be listened to more.
- Daughter “felt connected” – it was worthwhile to have invested in the coaching.
Outcomes for the parent:
- This coaching helped her to realise that she should be more open and listen to all her children. They all have different needs.
- Her whole family benefitted from her coaching.
- Mum learnt lessons and strategies to calm herself down when she felt stressed.
- She recognised that her daughter becoming quiet and withdrawn was a result of her own past triggers, meaning she became too loud or over powering without realising it. By recognising and dealing with that, she was able to be more relaxed herself.
- Mum feels that she has a toolkit with a number of strategies to deal with any situations that may come up with her children. These can be used for many years to come.
To find out how to get these benefits for yourself and your family, book a free 30 minute call with me to discuss the challenges you are facing. To find out more about my coaching program, have a look here. If you sign up by 20th January, you get a free gift of an extra coaching call! Looking forward to connecting with you.