How did you spend Valentines day? Buy a gift for your loved one? Go out for a meal? Short weekend break?
How many people actually show that same consideration to themselves regularly? How often do you buy yourself a gift…or feed yourself nourishing food…or take a break from work? Some people shower their pets with more love than they do for themselves (there is nothing wrong with loving you pet) but give yourself that same attention – that’s my point.
Loving yourself matters
It really is important to love yourself first. I KNOW that now, but as I was growing up, loving myself was considered selfish. No-one ever told me how to love myself or why it was important….probably no-one showed them how?
Why is it important?
As a school counsellor, I meet many children and adolescents who find it challenging to be emotionally engaged, even if they really want to, because of their individual home circumstances and therefore are cut-off from their real loving selves. Their circumstances mean that they feel rejected, isolated…unloved! Loving the self absolutely matters because by rejecting, isolating or ignoring a part of ourselves, that is what leads to the inappropriate and uncomfortable feelings and situations they sometimes find themselves in. Then those uncomfortable feelings get projected onto others, by blaming teachers or parents and they give away their power. It is easier to do that than deal with their own uncomfortable feelings.
These children and adolescents will possibly one day have children of their own and will pass on the same message to them. This is why it is so important to treat yourself as your own valentine so you can pass on that learning to the next generation. In fact, you owe it to the next generation to love yourself and work on yourself.
How do you begin to love yourself?
As it is Valentines week, you could start by thinking about what you would like your loved one to do for you….and do that for yourself. Start to bring awareness and attention to what you say to yourself. Instead of being self-critical, say kind things to yourself.
A really powerful way that I learnt to do this exercise is Mirror Work. Louise Hay introduced me to this technique from her book “You Can Heal Your Life” – maybe you have read this book? The idea is that you look yourself in the mirror and say nice things to yourself. I was really excited when I found this video – because not only does it explain what mirror work is and how you do it – I was actually at this event where I met Louise Hay (my heroine) where she signed a copy of my book. Let Valentine day be a reminder from now on to love yourself. Buy yourself a gift and be loving to yourself that day (and everyday after that).
Formal education does not teach children how or why they should to love themselves….although in some parts of the world people are awakening to this knowledge and understanding. I am passionate about being part of changing that paradigm and I show parents how to love themselves, so they can teach their children by example.
If you know someone that would like to learn to love themselves more, or If I have been unclear or you need more clarification or information in this blog, please get in touch – firstname.lastname@example.org.